i'm tired of tending to this fire

goooooood morning world i am so so so fucking tired. i started watching house.... two days ago? maybe? i'm on season one episode 19 and the only reason i am not watching it right now is because i'm on the phone. also the reason i didn't watch more last night, because i wasn't alone. and i was not gonna interrupt sacred game grumps time for house. even if he’s all i was thinking about. plus i'm almost done with the main story for marvel's spiderman 2. which is crazy. years of buildup for me. and this is the last point to upgrade before the end of the story. but i've really really enjoyed it so far. i like it a lot. i'm just now so fixated on house, everything else feels a little dull. besides him. they're sharp and sweet and gentle and kind and overly concerned with beating me to the register (i won last night). and my bracelets are hurting me, and all my necklaces are scattered to the winds, and man should i make up cool code names for my friends? my, 22m, friend, 23x...? has just turned 23 today. man that was clunky. reddit format doesn't work here, as silly as it is. i'm so close to putting my head down and falling asleep right here. sleepiest guy in the world award goes to me. my prize is a soft soft bed. and a new spiderman plush, mine is truly overloved. skinny in all the wrong spots. seen enough, seen it all. things are okay. enough. busy busy, i'm working tomorrow on a freelance video for my local pride center for a tdov event which is exciting and awesome but a little daunting too. my eyes are literally closing right now. and holy block of text, i usually love the enter button! i guess it's return on this computer. maybe that's why i'm less inclined to hit it. not everything will come back. and not everything will stay like it was. change is good, change is expected, change is inevitable. i hate new york and i hate the way the pain always expands (to a weight that collapses on itself).

i miss spiderman. i miss house. i miss necklaces that are too long and sweaters swaying kind of awkwardly, and when take this to your grave was new to me and when greatest hits was new to me and when vessel was new to me, and when i first laid eyes on someone i could never have known would want to keep me around just as much as i want them. and i miss the mint mojto coffee from philz the very first time and the start of jokes i would never know would be carried so far. aaaaand class is over. talk here soon.