charcoal crushed

[themusicorthemisery]

rough morning. jagged movements and shuddering breaths. i'm officially tuning out of class, i'm just a filled seat anyways. you know it's bad when i'm daydreaming about a hug. i almost got trapped in the car again, but somehow it doesn't feel like a win to be here. the pills are not a magic fix and suddenly four times a day feels like it might not be enough. i have to make it out, i have to live a life out from under the roof of my parents. wishing we had a panic room, but i think that's just wherever i am. wonder if they'd let me break down in the whisper room? feel like a walking trigger for my own issues. tired of intentional breathing far too early for it to help me. i don't think i can calm down in this environment. there's so many people upstairs, i can see them. daydreaming about a hug again. i feel like i'm about to melt away. i don't think typing this out has helped much, but it's only been 40 minutes. going to take longer than that to get through this.